Darrell Bain Page 9

  I almost laughed out loud at her expression. It was one just about every woman in the world is prone to on occasion. Somehow I held it in and nodded for her to continue.

  "I was with a man after I'd been here several weeks. I really liked him and thought he cared for me but it turned out he just wanted the novelty of going to bed with an alien. The next man was nice at first but then became possessive and tried to dominate me. And the third—I should have learned to be careful by then, but I didn't know he was married, damn him. I was hurt each time and I don't mind admitting it to you. And yet Jeri and Kyle are so happy it's scary, to use your term."

  "How about your work? Is it satisfying?"

  "Somewhat, but unlike Ish and Jeri, there's nothing I'm doing here that's even remotely like my specialty as a Crispy. It would be hard to even describe it to you since it involved perceptive abilities. I was helping with the FTL research but that's about done for now. I'd really like to travel and learn more about America but I know that's impossible."

  Not necessarily, I thought darkly. Ishmael is managing it—but I didn't say that. “Is there anything I can do?"

  "Perhaps.” She smiled at me like a small, bashful child. “Your knowledge and research in genetics is fascinating even though we grow up knowing much of our own instinctively. I wouldn't mind doing that, working with you and carrying on your research."

  "I'll be leaving."

  "I know, but you'll be replaced. If you could leave me all your notes and give me some direction ... well, you know how fast we learn, even as humans. I'm not as smart as Jeri, but I could do it. And I could be very helpful to your replacement."

  "We'll have to ask the general.” I made a note to myself to see if I could remember someone, a male geneticist and single who might be willing to leave the outside world for a while. Little old matchmaker me. In the meantime...

  "But forget the general for the moment. I'm glad you talked to me so frankly, Sira. Now as I said, I'm going to trust you with something that shouldn't become general knowledge. It would hurt some feelings and cause resentment in others. You said you're not entirely happy and I think I know why. The same parameters I used that pointed me toward the Y chromosome as a potential source of trouble also made me look at some other areas where difficulties might arise in the conversion from Crispy to human and I think I've discovered some. In short, I believe you went too fast in becoming human."

  "Converted too quickly?"

  "Yes, that's it exactly. Remember, my specialty, or one of them, is environmental genetics, how the environment affects genes and their expression. Jeri took it slow and easy and look at the results she got."

  She frowned, thinking deep thoughts, maybe even calling on that core of her Crispy self still buried within her. “Surely that's not all?"

  She might not be as smart as Jeri but she hadn't fallen off any hay wagon lately either.

  "No, it isn't. I was involved quite a lot with Kyle and Jeri right after I got here. What do you think of him?"

  She dimpled. “Would that I'd seen him first!"

  I laughed. “Me, too, for that matter, but you just stated indirectly what my research is telling me. I believe Kyle and his attitudes and beliefs and personality and their effect on her are all reasons Jeri turned out so well and that Ish and you...” How to say it without hurting her feelings?

  "Didn't,” Sira said bluntly.

  "Not quite as bad as that, especially in your case. Remember, Ish became a male. You have the double X and aren't influenced by the Y chromosome as he is. Still, I believe any Crispy needs to have a ... oh, let's call it a mentor, during the conversion process, someone who's really open-minded and willing to change his or her mind if necessary. Someone who can guide you in the process of becoming totally human, not just the outward form. You don't meet many humans like Kyle, male or female. Most humans are opinionated rationalizing beings, thrown this way and that, willy-nilly, by their genes and the environmental influences that determine the way they're expressed or turned off and on or which and how many proteins they code for. And all of that determines how the brain is wired, which in turn determines what kind of personality, attitudes and traits the person exhibits.” I paused for breath. “Whew! That was a mouthful, huh? And I didn't even come close to including everything.

  "Now, Sira, we're all like that to a certain extent, the way our personalities develop, I mean, but Kyle demonstrates less of it than most people. He is ... stable? Not exactly the right word. But to make it short, he's the epitome of what I think of as a perfect man. The only fault I've noticed in him is a tendency toward shyness, but on him it goes well.” I grinned at her. “As I said, you're not the only one who wishes she'd met him first!"

  Now she laughed out loud but then quickly sobered.

  "So you think me being rushed through the conversion and not having an individual mentor like Kyle is the reason I'm not as happy as her or as well adjusted?"

  "Yes, I do,” I told her bluntly. “Kyle is an extremely well read man. He was a science writer you know, after being medically retired from the army. He was able to steer her in the right direction and more importantly, kept her on an even keel, pointing out both the good and bad aspects of humanity. He is a very well balanced person, Sira. You'd never know he was a warrior type if someone didn't tell you. Also, he and Jeri had the full internet for her to work with and he helped her sort through it by explaining what was trash and what was worth pursuing. We're limited here in that all our access has to be funneled through so many devious paths that it takes a long time to download data because of the fear of giving our location away. The minute we opened up we'd probably be spotted. Jeri managed to locate Ish through the internet."

  "We still have a lot of data available."

  "Uh-huh, but only because we have couriers doing nothing but bringing some specialized data we need in on hard drives and uploading it into our computers and others doing nothing but appending all their downloads to disguise what we do on the internet. It's a hell of a way to have to work, with a monitor gauging every single download to be sure we don't reveal how much research we're doing in, well, genetics for instance. Past a certain point and any Crispy monitoring the net might find us. For that matter an AI program could probably do it."

  Sira wrinkled her brow. “That shouldn't be necessary."

  "Really?” I sat up straighter. “What makes you say that?"

  "I'll have to think about it but I believe I can get us into the net without danger by using some of the knowledge I was working on while we were still on the spaceship before the disaster. It involves a specialty Jeri wasn't familiar with and that's probably why she didn't work it out. In the meantime could I see your research notes that led to your discoveries?"

  "What I think are discoveries. Sure."

  "I'm almost convinced without seeing them, Mai. It would explain a lot."

  "That it would,” I agreed. “Okay, let's get busy."

  She was still there going strong when I finally had to leave to get some sleep. Of course it doesn't take a Crispy long to go through a tremendous amount of data. Jeri is practically a page at a glance reader for instance, with an eidetic memory to boot. Sira wasn't quite that good but she was fast. After she went through most of my data stores she began correlating it all in her mind and asking for more data from the net. I could only imagine how impatient she must have gotten sometimes while waiting on her requests to be parsed to disguise our location and the data she was after. So impatient in fact that a week later she presented Carol and General Shelton with a method for letting selected computers enter the net without risk and download great stores of data. It sped up a lot of research in vital areas.

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  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  The evening before I was to leave for the refresher course, Sira and I thought we had things pretty well sorted out. She was a very fast learner, as I said. Give her access to the net and I had no doubt she could begin working with the geneticist
s who replaced me before very long. And again, she couldn't find any flaws in my work which dealt with the XY chromosomal aspects of the conversion from Crispy to human. Which didn't necessarily prove there weren't any, since I couldn't get down and “see” molecules and atoms and enzymes working their magic like Crispies could, but it made me confident enough to want to talk to General Shelton one more time before the training course.

  "Do you think I could go with you to see him and ask that I be moved to your department now?” Sira asked.

  I had been planning on it, but I needed the reminder. Too many things happening all at once. Besides, she looked at me so appealingly that I laughed as I called Carol and told her I wanted Sira with me when I saw the general to confirm some other findings I'd made.

  "No problem, Mai. He wanted to see her about that other Crispy before she reports to Intelligence again anyway."

  "Good. See you in a bit."

  Sira already knew the answer with her hyperacute hearing but she probably would have known from my expression anyway. “Okay, let's go beard the bear in his den."

  "I take it that means we're going to see General Shelton.” If she'd overheard me, she was politely pretending she hadn't. Little things like that were what had made Jeri so easy to get along with and she was picking up on them.

  "Right as rain, but don't ask me where that expression comes from. I don't have a clue."

  * * * *

  "General Shelton, sir, while it's true Sira can't exactly confirm my work, she can't disprove it either. However ... well, let her speak for herself."

  He shifted his position behind his desk and turned his attention to Sira. I thought I could see a faint smile on his face but wasn't certain.

  "Sir, Mai has done some tremendously exacting work. It's especially admirable considering the short time she's been about it. And while I can't prove conclusively that she's right, I feel intuitively that she is."

  "A woman's intuition?” His gaze turned skeptical but he was still listening. I didn't think he really believed that was what she was implying, though. He was just yanking her chain a little.

  "Not at all. When I said ‘intuitively’ it was only for lack of a better word. Call it a quantum thought process, of sorts. Or a perceptive sense. Her data has already caused me to change my attitude in respect to what it means to be human. Jeri was worried about Ishmael before she left but wasn't able to figure out what the problem was. Mai did. That should tell you something right there about the accuracy of what she's been doing. And from what I've learned since talking to you last, I think that Lau, the Crispy Jeri killed, was suffering even more from the conversion than Ishmael."

  "Tell me more about your attitude change."

  "I'm convinced now that I got in too much of a hurry to convert to human. It went too swiftly and I lost something in the process that Jeri acquired by going slowly. Also, Mai's equations tell me that the neural pathways in my brain were ‘set,’ so to speak, too rigidly from not having a suitable mentor during the process. Jeri was so busy with other work that she hurried me though it, not realizing she should have taken more time or should have turned me over to someone with a personality and attitude similar to her husband, or like Mai, only male. If I'm reading it right, the mentor should be of opposite sex in order to get the best results, although I don't think it is absolutely necessary. Last night while Mai was sleeping I very carefully ‘reset’ some of my neural synapses and pathways in order to change very slightly the way my brain is wired. That involves changing the complex of genes in various ways to alter the number and types of proteins they code for. It would have been much easier if I'd done it right in the first place and it's going to take time to rearrange everything but I can do it. Already it more accurately reflects how some of my genes should have been expressed as related to environmental influences. Please understand that I'm using colloquial language for lack of proper words to describe the process. I don't dare do too much too soon or I might wind up like Ishmael or worse, but Mai's thesis appears to work. I feel much better today despite the lack of sleep."

  "This is getting a little deep. I'm an old warrior, not a scientist, but let's see if I understand it. Basically, what you're saying is that when a Crispy converts to human it should be done slowly, with a human mentor constantly present, one who is adaptable, congenial and rational, or as rational as we humans can be. And preferably of the opposite sex. That's the kind of man Kyle is and Jeri turned into a human woman we all admire."

  "Exactly!” Sira said enthusiastically. “But in the case of a Crispy converting to a human male, there appear to be other problems, as Mai has outlined to you. She doesn't know the answer yet, nor do I; but I can tell you and her, too, that I don't believe it's beyond us to correct. If I could take Mai's place when she leaves and if I could work with a few geneticists with something near her intellect and personality, I believe that in the near future it can be done safely. If taken slowly, that is. And if others of us turn up so we can try it."

  "Ah. Now I see. You want her job."

  Sira missed the attempt at humor. “I want to change jobs. I'm not doing anything of importance since the FTL propulsion engineering has been completed. Not that I contributed too much to it anyway. Basically, I don't think my talents have been utilized to their fullest extent."

  "Carol?"

  "I'm going to have to accept some blame myself, sir.” This was part of her domain. She brushed a strand of hair from her face. “I thought Sira was happy here and doing useful work. She's been assigned to the weapons development team and they've come a long way."

  "They probably would have anyway,” Sira said. “Jeri had already pointed them in the right direction and Ishmael helped more than I did."

  "I'm wondering now if we can trust his work."

  "I'll be glad to go over anything you're uncertain of, sir."

  "I'm going to take you up on that. Ishmael has disappeared completely, and given how easily he can change his appearance, I don't think we're going to find him except by accident."

  "Can I move over to Mai's department after going over Ishmael's work?"

  "You can move there as soon as you're satisfied the ship is safe, to the best of your ability. Just be aware that you'll be on call for weapons evaluation and review and available to answer the usual silly questions from new arrivals."

  That got a big laugh, but then the general turned serious again. He rubbed his chin for a moment then looked at me.

  "Mai, since Ishmael deserted, Sira is the only Crispy we have immediately available. Just to help confirm your theories, I want you two to stick close together."

  "You're speaking of Mai being the mentor I should have had to begin with, I take it?” Sira had sort of an impish expression on her face.

  "Exactly. That and learn everything she's done so far. Or wait—should you have a man as mentor?"

  "It would have been nice to begin with but as far along as I am now I think she would do fine. If Mai agrees and you're not blaming Jeri for being remiss, certainly. I'd love it, in fact!"

  "Mai?"

  "Well, sure. She can even move in with me if that would help. It's not like it would interfere with any romantic ventures on my part at the moment,” I said with a sour smile. “But I'm supposed to leave for my refresher course in small arms and small unit tactics tomorrow."

  "How about if we delay it for two or three weeks? You'll still have a chance to go through it but for the time being I believe keeping Sira happy is going to take priority."

  She and I exchanged glances. She gave me a tentative smile, then when she saw me nod it broadened.

  "Okay, that's settled. Keep Carol apprised of your progress and make an appointment for a week from today, and let's see how you're getting along."

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  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  It was kind of nice having someone else around after hours to talk to. I had been so immersed in the enormous number of finicky details of my research that I hadn
't gotten out much. The only people I'd talked to in depth had been Kyle and Jeri but that had tapered off as they grew increasingly busy with their pre-flight preparations.

  Along with the research I did my best to show Sira some of the girl things Jeri had obviously been too busy to teach her and others had apparently supposed she knew already. It was a breakdown in communication but not unusual in a place like this, still growing and harried with requests and demands from the government types who had to be involved and the rush to beat our competitors into interstellar space. Fortunately there were damn few politicians who knew much about The Group, and even fewer who knew where we were located. I had heard rumors of another enclave being built but had no idea if it was true or not.

  Anyway, Sira and I got along fine. Even better than that. By the second day we were old friends and a day or two later I began thinking of her almost like a little sister—despite her being almost 200 years old and an alien. After hours I coached her on some of the little ways to tell when a man isn't being truthful or is only interested in sex and stuff like that. Even with my record, I could tell her about some of those things. Or possibly because of it. I'd been fooled enough so I could spot the types she'd be better off without. I told her of the ways some women dissemble in order to attract men, such as disguising their own intelligence, bolstering the fragile male ego, pretending interest in whatever they like and so forth.

  "It's a common practice and if you want to play it that way few women would think the less of you for it, but personally, I think in the long run it defeats your purpose—if you're looking for a long term relationship, that is."

  "Is that what you want, Mai?"

  I raised a brow. “Yes, I'd love to find a man I could respect and fall in love with. Unfortunately, I seem to put them off once they learn what my I.Q. is."

  "But why should that be? I would think they'd like being with an intelligent woman rather than one who isn't."

  "Remember what I said about the male ego?"